Recently, I wrote a post regarding my son’s graduation and commencement exercises, detailing how one speaker combined both Admiral Ackbar and Eminem into an address that was at once entertaining and inspiring. Tough to do, I know, but if I’m being honest, it was one of the finest commencement addresses that I have ever heard.
But what about a sixth grade graduation?
Like many small towns and suburbs across America, we take education seriously here. We also love our children and look for every opportunity to celebrate their accomplishments and achievements whenever possible. To that end, I recently attended the sixth grade graduation ceremonies for my youngest daughter. Aside from the emotional aspect (which means I cried the tears of a proud papa!), the speakers had some marvelous words of wisdom for their students and for the rest of us attending. Here’s a sample from my notes.
Keep doing hard things. The students were reminded that they had done some very difficult things, at least difficult for sixth graders. After all, difficult is about going to new places, doing new things, often with little evidence that you will be successful at the outset. Doing hard things requires the use of positive imagination, facilitates the development of confidence and ultimately develops new strengths. This is what life and growth is all about, and unless we choose to do hard things, we will not grow into better people.
Learning things matters, but learning how to be a good friend matters more. What marvelous insight! I know men (and some women) many times the age of the graduating sixth graders who seem not to know this remarkable piece of wisdom. We often want our children to learn information, concepts, ideas, times tables, how to do math in their heads, how to read and evaluate and make good decisions. But as valuable as all of that is, without the richness of relationships, life is little more than moving from one accomplished task to the next. Machines can do that. We are raising our children to be powerful people, not simply skilled workers.
Gratitude is not optional – especially because we live in the United States. What a wonderful life perspective. I have spent much of my life dealing with psychology, perception and the role our mindset plays in the way that life unfolds for us. In the vernacular, much of this study is found in the discipline called Positive Psychology, and one of the more powerful tenants is that a persons choice to be happy makes them more effective at everything we do. In the research, one of the best ways to develop a positive outlook is to focus on the things that we are grateful for. Amazing that a concept that is seen as revolutionary is being passed on to sixth graders upon their graduation.
Playing with the best always ups your game. I have said on a number of occasions that a person rises to the level of the challenges that they face. This is true in sports, its true in performance, and it is certainly true of life. Whenever we accomplish anything we are building a kind of self-esteem or as I like to call it, a Self-Worth Account. This thought has caused many to conclude that the best way to build an individuals recognition of self worth is to recognize and reward everything. However, that may not unlock the power we think it should, because things to easily obtained are not valued in the same way that things difficult to obtain are. Playing against the best is always hard, it requires the best you have to give. And when you give the best you have to give in any contest, even if you fail, the investment in Self Worth is far superior to the outcome when you won too easily.
People who are determined to make a difference are never satisfied. Sometimes this leads to individuals being seen as perpetually confrontational, but this is not necessarily the case. When you want to make a difference, you are always asking “What can be done better,” This lack of satisfaction must be tempered, in the life of a man of style and substance, with a graciousness recognizing that the reason things are currently being done the way they are is that it is the best we have found so far. This way, our dissatisfaction and questioning doesn’t come across as the more critical, “What is being done is wrong!” Gracious acknowledgement of the current good combined with a desire to see even more improvement can lead to uplifting and ennobling conversations that leave everyone committed to fine tuning the good that we have already discovered.
Small changes built up over time can change the world. At a time in history when everyone is being told to find their passion, be a leader, and do what feels best to them, it is amazing that so many of us feel inconsequential. No matter how good things may be, it can often seem that things aren’t good enough. We haven’t gotten the right recognition at work, we don’t live in the right neighborhood, we haven’t been invited to the right parties, we haven’t made a difference. I personally believe that this type of thinking, while easy and common, is the most destructive to individual and societal growth and development, largely because it is self-centered and past focused. It is about what has been and is comparison based. To revolutionize life, to truly be committed to style and substance, and individual should be focused on what is being done and never allow themselves to be comparison based unless that is comparison is based on how life situations have improved for someone else because the individual took action.
Hard to believe that there could be so much in a sixth grade graduation, I know, but there it is! Hope you enjoyed it, I know I did.