A shift in my blog?

Recently I have been talking to a friend of mine, a long time blogger and writer, about the simple act of blogging.

I told him about my blog.  I told him that I felt a great desire to produce meaningful content for each of my blogs.  I also expressed to him how draining it sometimes was.

I asked him how he kept writing so regularly, and what he told me surprised me.

He told me that he felt much like I did.

He told me that he blogged not to be good or  profound or in hopes of having impact.  Rather, he blogged because he wanted to be a better writer.  He wrote, he told me, about the things that interested him, regardless of what others thought of those subjects, so that he was ready to write about things that people were interested in.

That was a little surprising to me, because I regularly find myself interested in the things that he blogs and writes about.

But not always.

And at that moment, standing in a crowded exhibition hall, I realized that I had been missing something about this whole writing/blogging/journalling/living thing.  I realized that I have been so busy trying to figure out what others thought would be valuable that I haven’t been writing about things that I personally find interesting.  I have been trying to second guess myself so much that my writing has been lackluster, boring and no fun.

I began this particular blog as a way of exploring the topics of style and substance, of character and choice, of things that I would want my sons to be and my daughters to find in their friends and husbands.  And rather than having fun about the process, I started to think.  Thinking is good.  I believe that, I really do!  But I think writing is better.

I am working to become a man of style and substance.  I am struggling with the process.  But I am committed to it.  I don’t want to find myself at the end of my life living in a home filled with clothes that someone else said were fashionable but that I hated wearing.  I don’t want to find myself driving a car that someone else said was desirable when I find it too pedestrian or too pretentious or in some other way unconnected to who I am trying to be.  I don’t want to spend my time trying to fit the mold that someone else has for style or substance.

And frankly, I don’t want anyone to think that I am trying to create such a mold for others.

So today, I am starting a new outlook on this blog.  I am going to write daily, about the things that interest me.  Anyone bothering to read it will likely find it more eclectic than it has been int he past, with cross posts to other blogs.  I am going to be practicing the craft of writing, of taking the whirlwind of ideas constantly swirling in my head and channeling them long enough to learn a lesson or two along the way.  I am going to allow myself to be a little more open, perhaps a little more vulnerable, and likely a little less careful about whether or not anyone else likes what I write.

This is the blog of my journey.  Come with me if you like; I’d love to have the company.  If not, flush it, no big deal.

After all, I am writing about MY journey, not yours.