There was a time when going back to sleep during the early morning hours was easy. It was so easy, in fact, that I didn’t give much thought to how I did it or why I woke up in the first place. Now, however, things are substantially different.
If I wake prior to my preferred time, I have to be very careful not to allow my mind to begin working through the events of the coming day let I be unable to slow it down enough to return to sleep. This morning is one such time. Here i am art 4am, composing a post in the hopes of releasing the inner turmoil I am feeling so that I may reclaim some peace and perhaps some sleep.
My father was the same. If he was wakened early, he would pass around the house, restless and sleepless, until the hour that his morning routine would begin. I was completely at a loss why, but now I think I am beginning to understand.
When I wake early, my thoughts often turn to things that I have to accomplish in the coming day, tasks of activities that might need some little attention in order to set the stage for success. My thoughts also often go toward my children, the struggles that they are facing, decisions that they must wrestle with, and the myriad ways I might help them. During these times, I find my thoughts turning to prayers, both formal and less so, on behalf of those in my life, family and otherwise, who might be in need of an extra measure of grace.
I used to think these early morning walking times were annoyances. And sometimes they probably are. But occasionally they become sacred times when I can commune with Divinity. And for those moments, in spite of lack of sleep, I am supremely grateful.