Rest if you must . . . but don’t you quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will 

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill 

When the funds are low and the debts are high, 

And when you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit, 

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit. 

Those opening words from the poem by Edgar A Guest first came to my attention in 1987, when I was a freshman in college.  I had high hopes of being the best in my class (I wasn’t) or of graduating Magna, Suma or at least Cum Laude (I didn’t).  I wound up almost flunking out of my second semester.  It was hard, agonizingly hard, and after that first bout of difficulty I seriously wondered if I had bitten off more than I could chew. 

Certainly this past year and a half we have probably all felt that way.  Between the global pandemic of 2020 and the other various difficulties that we have faced as a human family, this has been a tough time.  I have to admit, there have been several times during the past 18 months that I have felt like care has been pressing me down a bit. 

Maybe you have too. 

If you have, let me invite you to join me for a short rest.  For five minutes, right now, take a rest.  Take a moment and cast your mind back to what drove you to want to be different in the first place.  Can you remember that dream?  Maybe it wasn’t even a dream yet, maybe it was a glimmer of a hope.  Can you picture it?  Maybe it was hope for a better job, for a better home, for a less stressful life for you and your family, particularly your children.  

Can you remember that? 

Can you remember how good it felt to be on your way, to be taking the first steps toward the future of your dreams?  Perhaps you remember the fire in your heart and soul when you announced your dream to friends and family.   Perhaps they didn’t see things the same way, but that was okay!  You knew you could do it. 

Can you remember that? 

Hold that image in your mind, for just a moment.  Now, let me share with you the end of the poem. 

Success is failure turned inside out –  

The silver tint on the clouds of doubt 

And you never can tell how close you are, 

It may be near when it seems so far 

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit –  

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit. 

I graduated all those years ago, not because I was super smart or super talented or anything like that.  I graduated because I wouldn’t quit.  And then I got a Master’s Degree, and now I’m pursuing a Doctorate. And sometimes, I need a little bit of a rest, cause it’s hard.

But I’ve learned that the best things in life are at the end of hard times. Maybe you’ve experienced that too. It’s a special kind of bond, one that is shared by those who persevere. 

Okay, enough of a rest for both of us.  Let’s get back to doing what needs to be done.   

I believe in you! Go forth and conquer!

Seeds, weeds, flowers and fruit

Last Saturday during my bike ride I came across a remarkable sight. It wasn’t remarkable because it was particularly unusual. In fact, in almost every way it was downright ordinary. What made it remarkable for me was the juxtaposition of two things that I didn’t normally put together.

I saw a weed growing in the cracks of the pavement on an overpass.

I know, big deal, right? But in that moment I had a bunch of thoughts start running around in my head.

For instance, there was just this one weed, nothing else but asphalt and concrete around it. Where did the seed come from? What had to happen to get a seed to land in this one spot and then, in the midst of traffic, birds and weather, how did the seed stay long enough and find enough of the right materials to germinate and grow?

Another thought that came to my mind was about the difference in work required to grow flowers vs. weeds. My wife has quite the green thumb. Plants in out house often thrive under her care, even when they have been brought to us sad and wilting. Yet even with her ministrations, flowers still prove tough to grow. Why is that? What does intentional beauty require so much effort when unwanted obstacles grow so easily by comparison.

At that moment, I thought of wildflowers. Technically, many of them are weeds. And yet, they can sometimes grow with such beauty that we stop and admire them, sometimes for long periods of time. So, is there a beauty to be found in the weeds that interfere with the growing of our desired plants?

Finally, I thought of the way that flowers precede fruit. What we value, long term, is often not the beauty of the flower but the fruit of the vine or tree. This is also where those seeds come into the picture. Sometimes we can’t use the fruit, but other creatures can. But the fruit brings the seed, that much is sure.

All of these thoughts came in just a few seconds, but the questions have stayed in my heart and mind now for a couple of days. As I have worked to process this, I’ve come to the following conclusions.

1. Take a lesson from the weed, be tenacious even if you are out of your element. Own it, grow in spite if it, and show what you are made of.

2. Regardless of what others see in you, show your colors without hesitation and without apology. Be beautiful, and if some can’t recognize it, believe me when I say that others will.

3. Whatever you feel driven to produce, even if no one understands it but you, produce. From producing, you will discover and perhaps share seeds that will lead to more production. But without your production, everything just stays where it is at.

I share all of this, because it is the fruit that grew from the seed I saw growing with great tenacity in asphalt, all alone on the side of the road. It made me thoughtful, and perhaps a better human. Maybe it will do the same for you.

Go forth and conquer!

PATRIOTISM

In 1976, I was 7 years old and absolutely in love with the idea of being an American.  I remember reading an Archie comic where Archie went into a kind of trance while reading the Declaration of Independence.  He relived pivotal moments of the revolution, including the signing of the document, Valley Forge and the final battle between American and British forces.  It was a comic book, but it certainly captured my imagination.  I still have the comic book in my collection.  

At that time, young and impressionable, I decided that I wanted to be known as a patriot.  I wanted to be one who would stand and defend the American Ideal.  

Fast forward to 1987, the first year I was fully engaged in the political process.  I became aware that some of the political ideas that I had grown up with were quite a bit removed from the political realities that I was being confronted with.  Candidates and parties seemed to be positioning their opponents as anti-American and ready to dismantle the framework that had been the founding ideals of the republic.   Rather than positioning the dialogue around problems that needed to be solved, I heard them suggesting that the problem was the opposing party.  It didn’t matter which party was sending the message; it just flipped based on the party sending the message.

For a brief time in the early part of the current century, we found some common ground.  We were united for a brief moment, but politics quickly eclipsed the challenge again.  This time, however, the discourse became even more vitriolic, more personal, more strident and filled with comparisons that seemed far removed from reality.

And today, like every other American, I wonder what it means to be a patriot.  Are patriots  those who want to protect the 1st amendment, or the 2nd?  It seems that each party picks and chooses aspects of the current political storm and sends messages to suggest “True patriots will side with us.”  “True Patriots won’t compromise!”  “True patriots couldn’t possibly be against (pick your cause).”  “True patriots can’t come from the other side of the aisle!”

Frankly, I think this messaging misses the point.  I think true patriots come from both parties, and that the first and most important responsibility of a patriot is to champion anything that moves the American ideal forward for more of our citizens.  I think that requires reasoned compromise, open dialogue, and a clear sense of respect for alternate points of view.

I think true patriots are those who are looking for solutions to the ongoing problems our country faces from multiple directions.  True patriots are willing to call out our own deficiencies and work to do more than advance self interest at the expense of public virtue.   True patriots know that the point of the American Experiment was to prove that a government of the people, by the people, for the people requires respect and sacrifice and patience and compromise, all of which is hard, hard work.

I’m not saying anything new.  And I’m probably not saying anything that will make me popular with either of the current political parties or their supporters. 

But I think that both parties are full of people like me, people who see themselves as patriots, people who want our elected leaders to concern themselves more with the serious issues that face our country more than their own re-election campaigns.  Patriots who believe that our armed forces, first responders and teachers deserve greater respect and greater support than they currently have.  People who want our elected leaders to treat the responsibility of drafting, enforcing and adjudicating legislation as a sacred trust, not just a job to be done.

Patriots are those who put the needs of the country at the forefront of their efforts, regardless of party or ideology.  If that describes you, even if you and I disagree on an idea or two (or a dozen) along the way, I’m proud to shake your hand.  If the American experiment is going to continue, it needs patriots from all walks of life, from every class and neighborhood.  

It needs patriots like me and you!

Going down swinging

This week, I got some bad news. A project I have been working on for some time now is going nowhere. No, that isn’t accurate; a project I have been working on for some time now is being cancelled. Shelved. Dissolved.

It’s not been a good time for me.

In light of this news, my first instinct was to retreat, to accept defeat and, I’m ashamed to admit, to spend a little time sulking! I felt so sorry for myself. I’d been working on this project for a number of years, and I really thought that things were starting to come together.

I have to admit, I knew things for the project were winding down, but I really thought I had enough time to bring it home successfully, to be able to get a win out of it. But today, based on the way that things look, it’s pretty much dead in the water.

I was counting on this project being one that would help my financial situation. I was thinking that the years of sacrifice that my wife and family had put in with me were going to pay off. But now it appears that it won’t work out that way.

I was devastated.

And like I said, I had a short pity party.

So then, I did what I always do when I feel this way.

I went for a bike ride. I went for the most challenging bike ride I could find that was nearby. It included a mile and a half of non-stop climbing before heading down in a break-neck descent and then flattening out somewhat for a fast run. It is a really challenging ride, so challenging that I haven’t tackled it in nearly two years.

And I tackled it hard!

And as I was doing so, the thought came to me, “I may lose this, but I’m going to go down swinging!” If I am honest, the Fallout Boy song “Sugar, We’re Going Down” was going through my mind through the entire climb.

And when I was done, I felt totally different. I felt ready to tackle the challenge in new ways, from new directions, and with renewed energy.

Like the song says, I may go down, but I’m going down swinging!

I’m convinced that people who have that attitude get a lot more joy out of life. They may have more bumps, more scars, and maybe they irritate more people, but I’ll bet they feel very differently about their lives than those who just roll over, say, “yes sir,” and take whatever leftovers are on the table at the moment.

My project is still shelved. But before it is completely over, I’m going to make sure it gets every opportunity to shine, to make a difference!

And then, I will move on to the next one. And I will do everything I can to make sure that people say, “Why did we cancel that other one?”

And you should too!

Go Forth and Conquer!